This piece was performed at Highways Performance Space as part of an event produced by Leon Mostovoy called “Death of My Daughter.” I was very reluctant to perform it because my friend, Alexis Rivera, had died not long before the performance. It was directed by great Diviana Ingravallo (who died a few years ago). And this performance presages my own spiritual death – a death that lasted over a decade.

In addition to exploring the theme of appearance and reality, this delves quite deeply into gender dysphoria (or what I call “phoria”). It is a pretty good companion to chapter 5 of Beyond Personhood.  

An early version of Merryleggs the Magic Pony was performed at Beyond Baroque in 2002, and the complete version was then performed at Highways Performance Space in 2003. This version was performed for Queer Open Mic at Behavioral Health Services in 2010. It has something of a “one-more-time-with-feeling” sense about it.

It provides a demonstration of what I have in mind by my concept of “animation” whereby the “who” of an interpersonal identity is brought to life (explored in chapter 2 and 6 of Beyond Personhood). It also explores my ever-present themes of the relegation of trans people to make-believe and the question of what determines the difference between make-believe and social reality (explored in chapter 4 of Beyond Personhood).

Part of the performance simply involves me working out some of the ideas that show up in “Evil Deceivers and Make-Believers.” Again, the familiar theme of what counts as real, what counts as mere performance is explored. Finally, I dramatize some of the hazards of walking while trans femme. (Chapter 1 of Beyond Personhood elaborates these themes in far greater detail).